the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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