i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
