What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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