i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
