walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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