so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
