No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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