check it out our google latitudes are spooning
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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