Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
