Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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