and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Randomize
