So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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