We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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