I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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