I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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