Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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