Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
