he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
