Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
