he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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