I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
