Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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