I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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