I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
