Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
