Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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