Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
