idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Randomize
