okay pat passed out under dana's car
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
so let's talk penis.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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