just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
