I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
