My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
