plz talk dirty to me
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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