singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
