before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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