I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
