How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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