Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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