need another drink. this is the easiest way
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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