my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
