As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
