Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
