How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
