Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
