All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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