Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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