No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
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