Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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