I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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