sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
