I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I want to fling myself into the sun
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