every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
