In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
