I'm drive I can fine osifer
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
